jensen mcrae’s “I don’t know how but they found me!” is heartbreaking, validating, and transformative
While I have listened to folk artist Jensen McRae’s sophomore album – which dropped in its entirety on Friday, April 25th – I Don’t Know How But They Found Me! in part a few times at this point, I have yet to sit down with the body of work from beginning to end. The album’s title itself is a Back to the Future quote, perhaps the standalone lighthearted aspect of this sonic adventure.
Here, my unapologetic thoughts as I experienced this heavy, beautiful 11-track masterpiece.
To note, the album was born from a period of time in McRae’s life and is semi-autobiographical. “More than anything, I am grateful to have made this album as a record of my transition into real womanhood,” she explains. “It’s me processing girlhood, with all its attendant naïveté and guilelessness and resistance to change, and emerging as an adult who is capable of forgiveness and transformation and measured optimism.”
The work begins with 2 minute, 48 second track “The Rearranger,” which effortlessly gives voice to the feeling of emptiness in a relationship (or, for some, situationship) that does not make plans. To me, this song is about a relationship that seems to have most everything you want, but feels slightly off.
“I Can Change Him” hit me the hardest on first listen. The song tells a story of a smitten relationship that can only get so far without forward momentum and change. We have all been in a relationship (or several) that presents its issues to work on together and through. The hope in McRae’s voice as the chorus comes in:
Maybe I, maybe I just love him
Maybe I, maybe I just think
All he needs is a little something
Maybe that little something’s me
Maybe I’ll be his exception
And I’ll never be the same
Maybe I, maybe I could change him
Unless he doesn’t want to change
But you can’t expect yourself to be the change someone else needs in their life. They have to be willing to change, which is why the “Unless he doesn’t want to change” is so heartbreaking. It is almost as though, over the duration of the song, the narrator is coming to a slow realization that the only true thing she has change over is herself.
More heartbreak comes in third track “Savannah,” which was released alongside a Rena Johnson directed and produced video. The song – and its accompanying video – questions alternate life outcomes based on boundaries and how you make decisions in your life. You can acknowledge what once was and what could have been while also creating a life of your own design, and this song really drives that truth home.
Fourth track “Daffodils” examines a relationship plagued with substance abuse, the push and pull of the life that supports. From one line to the next, this dichotomy keeps the narrator in this cycle of bad to good on repeat, when everyone deserves better.
Anyone who has ever been a rule follower may identify with the lyrics of “Let Me Be Wrong,” which feels a bit revolutionary and positive when compared to its predecessors. The rasp in McRae’s vocals hits correctly at the end of the verses, as she encourages people to let her learn her own way. This song has Top 40 potential written all over it, something we can all get behind at the level of The Chicks or Shania Twain.
The cadence to this song is absolutely magnetic, as Jensen McRae sings “Novelty” with her velvety vocals. She tells it like it is in this track, fully aware that some people are into the novelty of a person, environment, or otherwise. And, worse off, she has been in this place before. Having any type of relationship with someone who isn’t invested in you as a human being can subdue the entire thrill of dating, and you can feel the ice and indifference as it comes to its conclusion.
“I Don’t Do Drugs” slows things down and simplifies them a bit. Singing of how healing isn’t linear, patterns permeate, and the familiar can be addictive, this is an eye-opening piece of art at just 2 minutes and 19 seconds in length.
After hearing “Tuesday,” I was wondering how Jensen could have possibly survived a one-sided relationship as severe is this — how anyone could. But this song also stirs up feelings in people who have felt unseen in their families, friendships, or romantic partnerships. With such conviction, this ballad is specific, intense, and relatable. Unkempt in some ways, it is tinged with fire from her emotions and the rasp in her vocals.
“Mother Wound” hits pivotal aspects of successful relationships — communication and expectation management (which, to its credit, comes from communication). For an artist who has referenced Biblical text and Jesus in other songs on this record, her ability to “read your cards right” and tap into intuition in other lines throughout this album encourages open-minded spirituality and trust, almost. This song is one of those times.
“Praying For Your Downfall” could be a take down track, as vindictive as I would be given the circumstances. However, the beauty in it is that she reads him for trash in the lyrics. Lines like “keep whistling, boy, I was never your dog” hit with an unrelenting attitude that she has more than earned. She repeats “I don’t need to see you fall down” as she releases her energy from the negativity. The bridge brings us out light as a feather, layered in a way you would almost expect from HAIM.
She ends the album with fan favorite “Massachusetts,” a track that gave her a little bit more momentum with listeners. The immediate reference to Batman hooked me when I saw her perform it on Kimmel (directly after Ben Affleck was a guest), but the idea of affiliating an entire place with a person is what kept my attention. As someone who has had the fortune of living in and traveling to many places, I associate these places with people and memories.
Every young relationship leaves stamps on your heart. Marks on your memory. But that doesn’t mean you have to keep it. You can keep the good, and release yourself from what belittled you and told you that you didn’t meet its expectations. This entire album is both a testament to the pain that so many people go through while they learn themselves and their partners, and a beacon for people who are nostalgic for sweet memories that didn’t necessarily pan out.
I Don’t Know How But They Found Me! is a massive feat of strength… for McRae and all of her collaborators. Listen to it dancing around your room on a rainy day, in an air conditioned metro car on your way to a weekend spot, or with the windows down in the sunshine. It will deliver an exuberance to your nervous system that outweighs the empathic, heavy nature of it all — and validates anything you have been through or are currently experiencing.
